the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize