Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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