DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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