is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
