Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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