Cold hands, warm shart.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
