so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize