Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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