he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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