dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
