I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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