i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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