try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
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