she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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