So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
i wish my penis had a tongue
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
