even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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