she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
