i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Is Oprah even human
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
