I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
