at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
