i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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