I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
