I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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