K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
