Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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