She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
