this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
