I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
