just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i just had sex bonerless
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Randomize
