his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
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So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
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I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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