Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You left your phone here
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