I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
