it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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