I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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