He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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