Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Randomize
