My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
