There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
