i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
