It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
