You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
