I want to stick my p in your. b.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
