Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
