let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
