the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
