My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
