Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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