I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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