i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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