My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
