with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
