these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
