I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
