Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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