your room smells of hookers.
And success
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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