Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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