For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
