The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
