Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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