whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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