my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
