party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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