i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
